Crypto 2009 rump session: Call for submissions

UPDATE: The rump session will be broadcast live via on Tuesday 18 August 2009 from 19:30 PST to 23:00 PST. Thanks to CryptoClarity for sponsoring this webcast! iCalendar:
When did Wang announce collisions in MD4, MD5, HAVAL-128, and RIPEMD? When did NIST announce the withdrawal of the Data Encryption Standard? When did van Someren introduce oblivious transfers of zero knowledge? The Crypto 2004 rump session!

When did Osvik, Shamir, and Tromer announce AES key extraction in 65 milliseconds? When did Kelsey, Schneier, Vaudenay, and Wagner expose cryptographic plagiarism? When did Alice meet Bob face to face for the first time? The Crypto 2005 rump session!

When did Bleichenbacher announce pencil-and-paper RSA forgeries? When did Cryptico announce a $1000 prize for the best cryptanalysis of Rabbit? When did Callas, Cannoy, and van Someren introduce lettuce-based cryptography? The Crypto 2006 rump session!

When did Biham, Dunkelman, Indesteege, Keller, and Preneel announce successful cryptanalysis of KeeLoq? When did Clark and Sale challenge the cryptographic community to race a rebuilt Colossus? When did Tromer, Ellison, Miller, and Wright present the perfect one-way hash? The Crypto 2007 rump session!

When did Tromer announce successful cryptanalysis of the Gpcode.ak ransomware virus? When did Enright, Rescorla, Savage, Shacham, and Yilek present a factorization of the IACR public key? When did Rescorla, Savage, Shacham, and Spies introduce dryness-rights management? The Crypto 2008 rump session!

The first Crypto rump session took place in 1981 and was immediately heralded as the most important meeting in cryptography. Each subsequent Crypto rump session has reached a new level of historical significance, outstripped only by the Crypto rump sessions that followed it. The Crypto 2009 rump session will attempt to live up to, and if possible exceed, the exceptionally high standards set by previous Crypto rump sessions; but it relies critically on your contributions! Do you have breaking news, progress reports, or other topics of interest to the cryptographic community? Can you keep your talk short and entertaining? Fill out the submission form and ask for a talk slot!

As an added incentive for putting serious effort into non-serious rump-session talks, the editors of the Journal of Craptology have promised to invite a paper from the most entertaining rump-session speakers at Crypto 2009.

There is also a non-rump part of Crypto 2009. The non-rump part has its own web pages, including its own program. Warning: These links are provided purely for informational purposes. The rump-session chair cannot guarantee the quality of the non-rump part of Crypto 2009.